I try to never let people know that I'm scared. The event I set up to confirm the completion of my new cd brought about uneasy feelings. I don't think I've ever played my songs in a room quite like that one, with so many people I know and respect. And with a bunch of other people I didn't know. And with other musicians playing with me. And other talented musicians/songwriters before and after me.

Despite my fear of letting others know my fear, I had to tell someone, so I told Bernard. Bernard was helpful, he asked if maybe I should have a drink. I thought, "Maybe." Then he told me to envision myself after the drink, and how that would be. It didn't look to be any better, so I didn't have one.

On Wednesday the 21st, I biked to work, and back home. And worked between those of course. But at home I was met by Mister Matt Katz, keyboardist of The Bloodsugars. After tour, I left a bag at his house, and he biked over to return it to me.

After resting for a minute, we biked up to Astoria, which is about 9 miles (and then came back as well). I've never gone that far in one day. My legs still feel the stress from it.

When I got home, I emptied my bag:

• Needle + Thread in a plastic baggie


• US Passport


• Stew Leonard's Comment Forms (x5)


• Unopened set of DR "Sunbeam" Guitar strings, 0.12-0.54


• Hairbrush in a brown paper bag


• Gallatin School Business Card Holder


• 12 "AA" Batteries


• Empty Wallet


• "Scandaliz Vandalistz" T Shirt


• Ziploc bag filled with sugar


• Rockstar kit:
  
  
  
  • Tin Wintergreen Altoids
  
  
  • 2 Long stocking socks
  
  
  • Flavored Condoms
    
    
    
    • 4 Strawberry
    
    
    • 4 Banana
    
    
    
    
  
  
  • 0.60mm Guitar Picks (x4)
  
  
  
  


• Plastic Bag containing my hair


• Red Pants


• Rag (for cleaning guitar


• Cassette Tapes
  
  
  
  • "Oncoming Storms of Judgement"
  
  
  • Jenny Craig's "Getting Started"
  
  
  • "How to Communicate Effectively"
  
  
  • "This is it! : Beach Bound"
  
  
  
  


• Bag Dirty Laundry (smelly)
  
  
  
  • Plaid Green Shirt
  
  
  • Blue Linen Shirt
  
  
  • 5 Socks
  
  
  • Boxer Briefs
  
  
  
  


• Green/Gray Corduroy Pants


• Blue Button Down Shirt


• Face Towel


• Bunch of Socks


• Bunch of Underwear


• Jack Skellington T Shirt


• Boxers

For about a week I've been bicycling to work in the mornings. I haven't been killed yet, which is good. But I think the best part about it is that it wakes me up. I arrive and feel very alert. I haven't been drinking tea to lift me up in the morning, and I haven't really needed it. Partly because it's much more physical activity than I normally do, but I think it's also because I'm avoiding the subway.

The subway ride is always very tiring. Standing in a dim tunnel with a bunch of other people who don't want to be standing in a dim tunnel. Then getting in a car filled with people sleeping, or wanting to be sleeping. And the background groaning of the train. The waiting. Much more exhausting.